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“Pags” my 1998 Ducati Monster 900, went up on the lift this past week. Pags came as a deal that was too good to be true, and yet this pathological two-wheeled optimist bought him anyways. Pags was involved in a highway accident (at speed) with a deer. Needless to say, both the deer and the saucy italian motorcycle lost. The deer is no longer with us, and the meeting of the two left Pags with a bent frame, bent front wheel, and some cosmetic damage. The owner had the bike rebuilt, rode it (bent frame and all) until he could afford a new one.

When I got Pags, the accident and all associated information was disclosed to me. I knew I was getting into damaged goods, but its hard to turn down a motorcycle that costs less than your monthly mortgage payment. I sourced a ‘95 frame from BCM, and even managed to blow a day of skiing with Cyndi to pick it up. (Note to guys out there, its not wise to anger the one who supportively funds your wild moto antics). Handlebars, new turn signals, and half a paycheck at Ca-Cycleworks for sprockets, chains, fork oil, and all the required “tune-up” parts. My plan was to pull Pags apart, give him a bath, and then put him back together and ride off into the sunset feeling like I had gotten something for nothing.

I’m still not quite sure if I was smoking some weed laced with bleach, or the waiter at Ruby Tuesday’s that night accidentally dropped some of his ’shrooms into my salad. As I started taking Pags apart, I started following the story of neglect and abuse. The high mount exhaust was poorly mounted and had shaved a gouge in the swingarm, and the ride height adjusters. A battery evidently exploded or leaked at some point, and the right side engine covers paint is chipping off, same story with the front and rear wheel. Poor Pags must have been stored outside uncovered for a long time, as many of case bolts are pitted with spots of rust. I’ve already spent more time brushing and grinding rust off bolts and parts (and painting them) than I have actually disassembling the bike.

Just when I had reached a stopping point, I ran into a surprise bonus. The left front engine mount is cracked in two places. Thoughts of pulling engine casings apart had just entered my mind (along with sorrow and frustration), when the thought of welding the crack popped up. I dropped a note to Mike @ GMD Computrak in Milford (who can weld gum wrappers together). He mentioned he’s done it no less than a hundred times, so at some point I’m going to have to hump the motor down to Milford.

Monsters are funny bikes to work on. From the surface, they look simple and elegant. Pop the tank and its just a rats-nest of wires and cables jammed under a tank. Compared to my SS, the fuel delivery system is ten times more complicated, the wiring loom has twice the number of connectors, and the suspension system is a far cry from the ‘two-bolt, pull the shock’ deal my SS has. I’m hoping I can get it all together by May, so Cyndi and I can take a little moto vacation together. That is, as long as there are no more bonus surprises.